Funny Christmas Instagram Captions
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.”
“When You Say Blizzard, We Think Dairy Queen.”
“I Hope Rudolph Eats the Naughty List.”
“Merry Elfin Christmas.”
“Dear Santa, is it too late now to say sorry?”
“That’s too small to fit a pony.”
“Too bad we can’t gift wrap common sense.”
“Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.”
“Being related to me is really the only gift you need. Just saying.”
“Feast mode.”
“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in awhile. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own stuff.”
“Permanently on the naughty list and loving every minute of it.”
“When someone asks ‘where is your christmas spirit?’ is it wrong to point to the liquor cabinet?”
“Friends are like christmas lights. Some are broke. Others just don’t work for you and there are others that make your day shine bright.”
“You rock my Christmas socks.”
“What did one ornament say to another? ‘I like hanging with you.'”
“The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.”
“Single bells, single bells, single all the way.”
“But first, let me take an elfie.”
“Dear Santa… I can explain.”
“Happy holla days.”
“Happy holiyays.”
“Totally sleighed it.”
“The elf did it.”
“Just so we’re clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.”
“Dear Santa, define ‘nice.’”
“What do you call an elf who sings? A Wrapper.”
“’Tis the season! Let the overeating begin!”
“I’ll be ho-ho-home for Christmas.”
“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”
“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
“One day of coal vs. 364 days of fun… I’ll take my chances.”
“What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!”
*Puts a selfie on top of the Christmas tree because I’m a star*
“Nothing says holiday like a cheese log.”
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